This should come as no shock to anyone that I am calling someone a dickhead. In this instance, I have two :
Steven Newman and Bob Parsons.
Although they are common in their sub-human disgusting behaviour, they are separate in their supreme dickheadedness. I will explain ...
Steven Newman gets his award today for his blind disregard for life, both human and animal. On the backs of the widows and widowers of the Gulf Oil Spill, he will get $4.3M bonus for a self proclaimed "incident free environment, all the time and everywhere" ... save for the explosion that kept spewing oil into the Gulf for 86 days. Oh - and not to mention the eleven employee casualties as well as almost making extinct particular ocean and wildlife.
I don't know what you are so happy about, mothertrucker. You ever think that those widows and widowers that you took your bonus on the backs of might want YOU extinct? Watch your back, cue ball. I'm just saying.
And then we have Bob Parsons. This dude earns Dickhead Emeritus Extraordinaire by basically assassinating a "problem elephant" and then posing next to the carcass in victory. He makes his proclamation on the basis that the elephant was part of a herd attacking local crops and houses. Let me tell you why elephants get angry and attack their surroundings...
ASS HATS LIKE YOU CHASING THEM WITH GUNS.
I shall illustrate : Elephants are likely the most intelligent non-humans - equal to dolphins and primates - in existence. Because of said intelligence, they were trained for participation in work (Throughout Myanmar (Burma), Siam, India, and most of South Asia, elephants were used in the military for heavy labour, especially for uprooting trees and moving logs), war (used by armies in the Indian subcontinent, the Warring States of China, and later by the Persian Empire. This use was adopted by Hellenistic armies after Alexander the Great experienced their worth against King Porus, notably in the Ptolemaic and Seleucid diadoch empires. And then there's MY personal favorite, Executioner of wartime prisoners due to their brute strength and ability to associate good from bad) and Industry (used as mounts for safari-type hunting, especially Indian shikar (mainly on tigers), and as ceremonial mounts for royal and religious occasions, while Asian elephants have been used for transport and entertainment).
Elephants also display a range of actions/reactions/emotions including : grief, making music, art, altruism, allomothering, play, use of tools, compassion and self-awareness. Some of their reactions to possible eternal threats can also be taken as vindictive (this is also one of my personal favorite emotions as well). So you know what?
HE REACTED TO YOU BEING A SELF RIGHTEOUS DICK WITH A FIREARM.
Still not sure why guys like you act so f***ing happy when you know everyone is out for your hides now. I'm just saying.
Congratulations Steven and Bob ... you two ARE the Kymmie Show's "Dickheads of the Day"!!!!
*insert applause with children screaming "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!!"*
No comments:
Post a Comment